Grumpy Healer

Change Your Life Today. Just Don't Blame Me If It Gets Worse.

Healing as a Service: This is How It Gets Done.

How to Get Started? Don't Make It Complicated.

Alright, pay attention. This isn't rocket science, but apparently, I have to spell it out.

First, you book an appointment. Yes, it's free. Don't look so surprised. It's a quick, 30-minute call where I'll do a diagnostic. That means I'll figure out where your emotional energy is all messed up and what specific brand of energetic chaos is clinging to you.

Once I've got that sorted, we'll know what's actually salvageable. From there, we can decide if you're better off with a subscription plan (for ongoing maintenance, because you'll probably just get messed up again) or if a few targeted online sessions will fix your main issues. Don't expect me to hold your hand through this. Just book the call so we can get started.

What Do I Do for Your Online Sessions?

Alright, if you've opted for the online sessions, here's the deal: We'll schedule a call on Zoom or Google Meet, usually in the evening. During that time, we'll do some energetic cleaning. That means I'll get in there and remove energy blocks and clear out some of the energetic nonsense that's clinging to you.

Why a call? Because some of these blocks actually require direct, face-to-face interaction to shift. No, I don't particularly enjoy it, but I can do it effectively. So, show up, and let's get it done.

What Do I Do for Your Subscription?

Once we've got a plan, I'll do the work. That means weekly or bi-weekly energetic check-ups and cleanings. Usually, I do this late at night, when you're hopefully not bothering anyone. I don't need a call, I don't need you to do anything. You pay your subscription, and I do my part, invisibly. It's designed to save your time, because honestly, who needs more appointments?

Feedback? (Yes, I Actually Ask for It)

Once a month, I'll begrudgingly ask for feedback. I need to know if anything's changed, what new problems you've managed to acquire, or if you still feel like a zombie. Based on your rambling, I might tweak your healing plan. It's the only way to ensure I'm not wasting my time, or yours, on a plan that isn't actually getting results. So, make it useful.

The Things We Handle (Don't Complain)

About Me (Yeah, Yeah, Here It Is):

Tired of feeling like everyone else's garbage disposal? Good. Because I fix that. I clear out the crud people dump on your energy so you can actually function like a normal human being again. Got draining clients? Brutal schedule? Feel like your job sucked out your soul? I get it. This isn't about fluffy self-care; it's about getting the gunk off so you have something left at the end of the day.

If you're serious about not being a doormat for bad vibes, there's more involved than just a quick scrub. We can actually build some resilience. And if your body's a mess from surgery or whatever, I can help get the energy flowing so it actually heals. Got kids? They're probably dragging too. I can clear their energy so they can actually grow properly and maybe throw fewer tantrums.

Basically, if you're tired of feeling zapped and want to feel like yourself again (without the touchy-feely nonsense), that's what I do. Now leave me alone.

The Healing Stuff? Yeah, It's Just Me Now. Don't Get Any Ideas.

Look, for the record, it's just me running this show. Me, myself, and I. And that's how I like it. Fewer screw-ups that way.

However, and don't get excited, I am stuck training a few... individuals. Weird bunch. Wouldn't be my first pick for company, but they're (slowly) learning to not completely botch things. Years. It takes years to get someone to actually heal without making my eye twitch. So, for now, it's mostly me fixing your energy and un-zombifying you. If you end up with one of the trainees, try not to break them. Or me.

Our So-Called Expertise? Don't Ask.

Look, you don't want to know about the endless courses and trainings. Most were a waste of time, but a few weren't complete garbage. I could throw around a bunch of fancy words you wouldn't recognize, but what's the point? The fact is, I've spent over a decade actually figuring this stuff out, using logic and how things work – like engineering. It's not some airy-fairy nonsense. It's been tested. On actual people. And it works. So, trust that, and don't make me list all the ridiculous certifications.