The Grumpy Healer Unleashing Potential (If You've Got Any)

Change Your Life Today. Just Don't Blame Me If It Gets Worse.

Healing as a Service: This is How It Gets Done.

How to Get Started? Don't Make It Complicated.

Look, getting started isn't some complicated ritual. I'm not here to be your therapist, and frankly, I don't need to see your mug every five minutes. All I need is for you to book an appointment and send me a picture. Any picture of your body will do. Your back, your foot, I genuinely don't care. I'll use that to figure out what's wrong with your energy, physically and emotionally. Then, at the appointed time (yes, we'll use Google Meet or Zoom, because apparently that's how people do things now), I'll tell you the grim details, and you can pick what service might actually fix you. It's that simple. Now, stop procrastinating.

What Do I Do?

Once we've got a plan, I'll do the work. That means weekly or bi-weekly energetic check-ups and cleanings. Usually, I do this late at night, when you're hopefully not bothering anyone. I don't need a call, I don't need you to do anything. That first consultation is all the interaction I need. You pay your subscription, and I do my part, invisibly. It's designed to save your time, because honestly, who needs more appointments?

Feedback? (Yes, I Actually Ask for It)

Once a month, I'll begrudgingly ask for feedback. I need to know if anything's changed, what new problems you've managed to acquire, or if you still feel like a zombie. Based on your rambling, I might tweak your healing plan. It's the only way to ensure I'm not wasting my time, or yours, on a plan that isn't actually getting results. So, make it useful.

The Things We Handle (Don't Complain)

About Me (Yeah, Yeah, Here It Is):

Tired of feeling like everyone else's garbage disposal? Good. Because I fix that. I clear out the crud people dump on your energy so you can actually function like a normal human being again. Got draining clients? Brutal schedule? Feel like your job sucked out your soul? I get it. This isn't about fluffy self-care; it's about getting the gunk off so you have something left at the end of the day.

If you're serious about not being a doormat for bad vibes, there's more involved than just a quick scrub. We can actually build some resilience. And if your body's a mess from surgery or whatever, I can help get the energy flowing so it actually heals. Got kids? They're probably dragging too. I can clear their energy so they can actually grow properly and maybe throw fewer tantrums.

Basically, if you're tired of feeling zapped and want to feel like yourself again (without the touchy-feely nonsense), that's what I do. Now leave me alone.

The Healing Stuff? Yeah, It's Just Me Now. Don't Get Any Ideas.

Look, for the record, it's just me running this show. Me, myself, and I. And that's how I like it. Fewer screw-ups that way.

However, and don't get excited, I am stuck training a few... individuals. Weird bunch. Wouldn't be my first pick for company, but they're (slowly) learning to not completely botch things. Years. It takes years to get someone to actually heal without making my eye twitch. So, for now, it's mostly me fixing your energy and un-zombifying you. If you end up with one of the trainees, try not to break them. Or me.

Our So-Called Expertise? Don't Ask.

Look, you don't want to know about the endless courses and trainings. Most were a waste of time, but a few weren't complete garbage. I could throw around a bunch of fancy words you wouldn't recognize, but what's the point? The fact is, I've spent over a decade actually figuring this stuff out, using logic and how things work – like engineering. It's not some airy-fairy nonsense. It's been tested. On actual people. And it works. So, trust that, and don't make me list all the ridiculous certifications.